That itchy spot in your brain

haha.

It's been one of those weeks where a series of events just coalesce into such a collage of weirldly fascinating oddity.

Some days when I'm driving on the freeway in the morning, all it takes is the right song, and I just want to keep driving in that mode, keep going, lost in the song and never have to take that offramp.
Some days all it takes is the right song to come on to get me to drive a few more exits down and get that Banjo I've been wanting for so long:
I lurve it.

So my birthday was last week. 20 years of being a goon. Hello decade 3, this is going to be a good one. (for some reason that sentence reminds me of Halo 3, which reminds me of Starcraft II ,which was just announced by Blizzard. Seriously epic. Which is also funny because I had a dream about Protoss the night before Starcraft II was announced. )

So Friday was the SunGod festival at UCSD, which is apparantly the one day of the year that the UCSD kids party. Ozomatli is damn awesome live, I don't think I stopped dancing the whole time. Funny was the policemen trying to herd the massive amounts of people in line. If college students can't even form a line, then it's beyond helpless at that point. I don't doubt the people of my generation (actually.....um....well, that's another story), and it seems more insulting than helpful. Funny was just jumping the fence anyway. My new motto is "Always jump." Fences were made to be jumped, always jump. Free yourself.

Sun God friday, and I went to a Dimmu Borgir show on Saturday. These events got me thinking a lot about herd mentality. People in mass, in big groups. When everyone is dancing at once and singing along, its a good feeling. Even when everyone is thrashing against each other and sweaty and people's extremely metal hair is all in your face, its a good feeling still. But at the same time its hard to not feel like you are part of one, larger, organism. One brain, and every extension acting in accordance to its will. You are not as in control as you like to think you are.

So yesterday. Here's my weird little occurences. It was one of those mornings that I just wanted to keep driving and be swallowed by the music. But I went onto campus finally and took care of some shiz. When I was getting some paperwork, I saw this gnarly dragonfly, probably a good 2 inches long, perched on the sign above the window where I was doing my transaction. Something about that dragonfly was mystic, just it being there, and me being there. Dragonflies are pretty crazy. This one looked prehistoric, fake almost.

Walking back to my car, decidedly done for the day, I found a discarded standard ticket on the ground. Just a red little ticket with no other indication of what gateway is was for someone. An art show, a music show, some sort of lecture. Someone's ephemeral key for that one event. I picked it up, of course.
Then I noticed the swing. Some handmade swing composed of rope and a little wooden seat, hanging from a eucalyptis tree.
So I got on the swing. And I swang. And the clouds in the sky, the energy, I could feel it. That dragonfly in my mind, my finding the ticket. Our life is composed of a series of coincidences. It is a coincidence that we end up here at all to begin with. It just keeps going from there.


Tonight I was hangin in the garage with my bro and fetus kids, and I was looking through some cabinets, and I found this crate of old pictures. Some good ones of my brother and I way little and on a pony that looks like its about to have an aneurysm. The best one, by far though, Is one taken of me as a weee little brat, naked from the shirt down, peering through the fence. Its just little lisa ass mooning you. The voyeur photographing the little voyeur.
I'm definitely going to have to scan that one in.


Peace.

(The Gift of the Magi) I remember my Grandpa telling this tale on several occasions.

Or the Tyler Durder version: You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

Two different versions of basically the same thing. Maybe sans the all-singing all-dancing crap part, but basically it all boils down to the fact that things are meaningless. But you could argue we as humans are intrinsically meaningless, too.

Speaking of Fight Club (Chuck Palahniuk's original creation), Palahniuk's new book Rant just came out. Palahniuk is seriously a raw destructive genius. Words cannot describe, they can only act out the apocalyptic fairy tales that he summons to life or death.

Thoughts?

I love the things that we should fear...

This might be one of the coolest vinyl toys I've seen in a while. It's modeled after Luke Chueh's art, which I am quite fond of:

There's something very endearing to me the way Chueh turns otherwise fuzzy cute bears into self-loathing destructive dopplegangers. Mori Chack's Gloomy Bear has a similar appeal, but its a toned down sanrio version of desctruction turned cute:
PS- some people have the dumbest tattoos- I was just browsing the 'sighting tab' on the Luke Chueh site, which has a bunch of fan art, and if you scroll towards the bottom you'll see the tattoo section. I just don't understand tattooing some one else's original concept/design on your body. Way to ninja the originality of the whole thing. And Helloooo bilboard. Not to mention it just looks retarded to have a purple bear shitting a storm on your neck forever. Helloooo dimwit.

Tool was pretty fricken awesome. Kind of a surreal experience.








There was a lot on my mind that I want to type out. Things about our connection to the enviornment, the amazing nuances of our brain and the eternal possibilities of etertnal possibilities and how everything is interconnected and how we are actually limited in what we see and what we think but I believe we can transcend.

I'll leave it there and fill in my thoughts when my brain has energy and I'm not putting off studying for yet another midterm, and falling asleep in the meantime.

Ha.

So many things. To be said.
24 hours is a joke. A second that we live in. Sleep wipes our memories and we start all over again. This isn't the only way. We aren't the best creatures there ever was, keep that in mind.
What we should really be worshiping though, is the Sun. Everything (at least everything that we can truly be concerned with, we are tiny after all) revolves around the sun, we are the way we are because of it, and this makes a lot more sense to me than worshiping a whim or a notion or a god of retards (it was pretty poetic up until right there, but I couldn't resist myself). Hail the sun! Helios rules your face. And your herb garden.

Great.

Yesterday I put my rats on my desk to cruise while I was cleaning their house. Not two minutes go by, and they somehow manage to pull up my itunes by jamming on my keyboard, and I just hear "comfortably numb" start playing from the other room. Ahhh the clever rascals, I would have personally chosen a certain smashing pumpkins song, but I guess that's a little too obvious.
Angsty motherfuckers. We're all just angsty motherfuckers.


So I was somehow a participant of hotboxing a tent last night. And yeah, it was as bad as that sounds. I was rightfully stupid there for a while. But there was some pretty funny shit, including the hilarious thought to me of relating 5 people crammed in a tent to a seed. And yeah, that sounds retarded, and arguably is, but I swear there's a connection. Haha, jesus, my poor brain.

I had some frantic dream about getting stabbed in the stomach (I think by my brother?) and some theme of losing family and reuniting with family. So it goes.

I'm always scrambling to write my thoughts, ideas and doodles down when they are so fleeting. And then I sit here and type about...shite. I need to get one of those e-sketch things, seriously. Since most of my science classes this quarter hamper the possibility of taking notes on my laptop (CL- + H+ => HCL is a clusterfuck and headache even more so than it is to begin with) I've been happily taking manual notes and completely scribbling over those notes with doodles. Feels good to be back. Haha.



Tool show tonight, zomg epicness is upon the horizon.
later.