Monday, March 31, 2008
spam sandwhich
Wow it's been forever. blah blah blah [obligatory explanation of what i've been doing allll this time.] Jacking off. That's what I've been doing.
It's good for the abdominal muscles.
Annnyway..
Spring break is over and another quarter has started up.
I am starting to really enjoy my job, in all its piss and shitty glory, who couldn't love being around cute pooches all day? I suppose I should explain, I recently landed myself a job working at PetSmart's PetHotel where on any given day about 100 dogs check in to be pampered by the slew of hotel minions. No joke. It's a lot of grunt work- cleaning, shit and piss clean up (there is even a room with a toilet in it just for the sole purpose of flushing massive amounts of dog shit down it), assembly line feeding preparations (100 dogs, I wasn't kidding!), more cleaning, and of course, the play time with the doggies. Theres a few that have really started to grow on me, though usually theres so many different dogs, and different kinds of dogs each time I go in that there are only a few handful that I have recognized as 'regulars.' Nevertheless, I have gotten quite good at quickly remembering/memorizing names, considering at random hourly intervals throughout my shift we rotate conducting the play-room day camp rooms (theres 3- one for small, medium and large dogs- divided accordingly), and each room can have up to about 30 dogs in it. My first few weeks I was scheduled for the small playroom quite frequently- and each time you go in you get mobbed by 6o paws of demanding little mutts. I then commence going around to each one, if I don't already know them from a previous day, and looking at their paper-collar name tags assigned upon check in to try to memorize their names as soon as possible (Usually it's a lot more effective when "Jack" the dachshund is violently humping some other dogs face to actually know that his name is in fact Jack for immediate and effective verbal berating). In the small play room clusters of bichon frises, puggles, dachshunds, beagles, and whatever popular breed of the day happens to be tend to be easily confused and more difficultly discerned, thus the need to quickly learn the names. I may also add that, at any given time, important people with radios may radio in to the glass-bubble playroom and request immediate retrieval of any specific dog, and its thus once again conducive to know the three Jacks' last names and identities so as to comply with the suddenly urgent need to procure the dog. Another lovely occurance commences when you have finally mentally retrieved which dog you are supposed to grab, find him in the mob and grab him, commence shuffling your way through two feet-high of now very curiosity-piqued pooches that want to see what's going on at the door, and birth the chosen dog forward into the hands of the radio-operating important people (the managers, usually) through the insistent crowd. When one goes, they all seem to want to go, so its usually quite the event cracking open the door just enough to squeeze out that yorkshire terrier who has now decided he doesn't like the idea of being forced out, while everyone else has decided they DO want out. Luckily the hotel is all indoors and so no escaping confused chihuahuas will immediately bound into traffic and imminent doom, its just a minor spectacle of amusement that usually takes on a more serious air when the Radios are there expecting the specific dog for immediate delivery to the hands of the waiting pet-parents, who can usually see the whole event through the two panes of glass, and usually make it a point to do so.
When in the fishbowl its best to keep smiling (not that I have a problem with that, I am kept highly and consistently entertained).
I could keep writing, and I will probably do so in the future of the every day antics that are noteworthy.
Spring time is taking a slow route to warming up, but I am welcoming the change of nicer weather and 'longer' days. I keep getting the urges to develop habitual ocean swimming, and I'm thinking I just may indulge that thought once it gets just a tad bit warmer out.
All for now, peace out my friends.
L
It's good for the abdominal muscles.
Annnyway..
Spring break is over and another quarter has started up.
I am starting to really enjoy my job, in all its piss and shitty glory, who couldn't love being around cute pooches all day? I suppose I should explain, I recently landed myself a job working at PetSmart's PetHotel where on any given day about 100 dogs check in to be pampered by the slew of hotel minions. No joke. It's a lot of grunt work- cleaning, shit and piss clean up (there is even a room with a toilet in it just for the sole purpose of flushing massive amounts of dog shit down it), assembly line feeding preparations (100 dogs, I wasn't kidding!), more cleaning, and of course, the play time with the doggies. Theres a few that have really started to grow on me, though usually theres so many different dogs, and different kinds of dogs each time I go in that there are only a few handful that I have recognized as 'regulars.' Nevertheless, I have gotten quite good at quickly remembering/memorizing names, considering at random hourly intervals throughout my shift we rotate conducting the play-room day camp rooms (theres 3- one for small, medium and large dogs- divided accordingly), and each room can have up to about 30 dogs in it. My first few weeks I was scheduled for the small playroom quite frequently- and each time you go in you get mobbed by 6o paws of demanding little mutts. I then commence going around to each one, if I don't already know them from a previous day, and looking at their paper-collar name tags assigned upon check in to try to memorize their names as soon as possible (Usually it's a lot more effective when "Jack" the dachshund is violently humping some other dogs face to actually know that his name is in fact Jack for immediate and effective verbal berating). In the small play room clusters of bichon frises, puggles, dachshunds, beagles, and whatever popular breed of the day happens to be tend to be easily confused and more difficultly discerned, thus the need to quickly learn the names. I may also add that, at any given time, important people with radios may radio in to the glass-bubble playroom and request immediate retrieval of any specific dog, and its thus once again conducive to know the three Jacks' last names and identities so as to comply with the suddenly urgent need to procure the dog. Another lovely occurance commences when you have finally mentally retrieved which dog you are supposed to grab, find him in the mob and grab him, commence shuffling your way through two feet-high of now very curiosity-piqued pooches that want to see what's going on at the door, and birth the chosen dog forward into the hands of the radio-operating important people (the managers, usually) through the insistent crowd. When one goes, they all seem to want to go, so its usually quite the event cracking open the door just enough to squeeze out that yorkshire terrier who has now decided he doesn't like the idea of being forced out, while everyone else has decided they DO want out. Luckily the hotel is all indoors and so no escaping confused chihuahuas will immediately bound into traffic and imminent doom, its just a minor spectacle of amusement that usually takes on a more serious air when the Radios are there expecting the specific dog for immediate delivery to the hands of the waiting pet-parents, who can usually see the whole event through the two panes of glass, and usually make it a point to do so.
When in the fishbowl its best to keep smiling (not that I have a problem with that, I am kept highly and consistently entertained).
I could keep writing, and I will probably do so in the future of the every day antics that are noteworthy.
Spring time is taking a slow route to warming up, but I am welcoming the change of nicer weather and 'longer' days. I keep getting the urges to develop habitual ocean swimming, and I'm thinking I just may indulge that thought once it gets just a tad bit warmer out.
All for now, peace out my friends.
L
// posted by Elkay @ 11:07 PM 
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